Look! A new post, blah, blah, blah

I couldn't leave my quasi-stalkerish Christian Bale post/love/rant up as the, possibly, last thing I ever post. I can't say that this will be my last post, but, honestly, who in the hell has time for this blogging? This endless stream of typing? Between work, school, piles of homework, and reading mundane work related crap with fascinating titles such as, "Your weekly SEC Update: Legislature this week!", I have no time and nothing interesting to say anymore. All my creative is gone. Replaced by ridiculous things like regressions. Ach. Please end my misery.

Stay tuned, I may pop up every once in awhile with completely nothing to say. You don't want to miss that! In the meantime, I'll be lurkenstein-ing on your blog. So, please, continue posting so that I have some form of entertainment in this seemingly endless existence of learning.

Love you lots. Stay sweet,

D-Lil

Why so serious?

I have seen The Dark Knight.

Two things:

1. I have lusted over Christian Bale to a point that I feel as though I've cheated* on Mr. DLil. Mmmmmmmm, Christian Bale. You are so naughty and bad in your little bat uniform. Oh, Christian, you just take off that bat uniform so mama can rub you down. That's right, Christian, obviously you need punishment, you bad, bad, naughty so-and-so, and I'm just the insanely obsessed bitch to give it to you. Get that tight ass over here and let mama show you how naughty you are. Oh yes you are.

Oh. Yes.

Oh my.


2. I don't even know what I was talking about. Whatever. I saw the movie. It was fantastic. Heath Ledger was amazing. Truly. Magical performance. I can't wait to see it again.


*10 out of 10 women would cheat on you with Christian Bale. Don't believe me? Take off your shirt and go look in the mirror, loser.

Height Advantage

I'm tall and, as such, have very long arms. I mostly use my awesome power of tallness to see over people and reach stuff on high shelves. Yesterday, my insanely long arms were finally put to use.

I was unfortunate enough to experience a grueling delay on BART on the way home from work. I hopped off the stalled train at 24th and Mission in hopes of taking the bus home. In typical MUNI fashion, two #14 Mission buses were lined up at the bus stop and both bus drivers pretended not to the notice the 20 or so of us pounding on the bus doors before leaving us at the curb. Fuckers. I was tired. It was cold. I decided to hail a cab.

I raised one very long arm and within seconds a Luxor cab screeched in front of me. I started to get into the cab and that's when I saw it: a blur of khaki and black pleather. A crazed and very short lady jumped off the curb and made a beeline for my cab. She pried the door open and proceeded to try to get into my cab, all the while screaming something intelligible about gimme-my-cab-something -blah-you-something-bitch-something-blah-blah. I stared, mouth agape, for a good while. I mean, there are rules in life and she wasn't having any of them. It was fascinating. Finally, I stood up out of the cab. I extended to my full height, looked down my nose at her, used one arm to block her entry to the cab and used the other arm to distance myself from her craziness, and said, in my best Joan Crawford voice, "Sorry, Honey. This is my cab."

Freakishly long arms: 2
Everyone else: 0

The Past Year: Part Who Cares

I tried to write about the past year of my life. I got one post in and I could not go any further. I don't like talking about myself ad nauseum. Never have. Perhaps this is the reason I stopped with the blogging. Maybe I'm only good at answering questions about myself as opposed to just writing shit about myself off the cuff.

I do like to talk shit about people and things, so hopefully a fairly interesting post should appear here every once in awhile.

The Past Year: Part I

What's changed?

The first major life event of the past year was set in motion right about the time I stopped blogging: Career change. Major career change.

I went from being top dog and totally in my comfort zone to being on the bottom rung and no where near my comfort zone. I turned my world upside down, but I chose wisely. I've learned so much that my head could explode at any moment. When it does explode, I hope you will be nearby so you can have all that knowledge rain down upon you. I'm now working in the same city I live in. I take the train to work, which, as an aside, will provide endless fodder for blogging. No more wasted hours in the car. No more (daily) road rage. No more of that damn bridge.

What hasn't changed?

I still listen to Howard religiously. I'm still a sick fuck. Some things will never change.

What's in a year?

As I attempt to put everything that's occurred in the past year into a somewhat comprehensible post, I can't help but procrastinate and think about what a year meant to me as a kid. A year used to be, like, the longest measure of time, ever. Ever. When I was little I couldn't wait for another year to pass. I just needed to be one. year. older. I couldn't wait to play with toys that had digestible pieces. I couldn't wait to ride the roller coasters at Great America. I couldn't wait to get my drivers license and total my parent's cars. Multiple times. I could not wait to be 18 - an adult. And then there was 21. At least 21 was something major. What with all the legal drinking, merriment, and revelry to be had. Legally, of course.

And now? Now. Well, now I wouldn't mind if time reeled it in just a wee bit. Slow the pony down, if you will. The last year flew, FLEW by. And major shit happened here, people. Good shit. Crazy shit. Shit shit. Oh, and bird shit. A bird shit in my car the other day. IN my car.

So there.

Hey Now!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

What? Don't look at me like that. It's only been 1 year and 18 days. I know, I know. I don't call. I don't write. You'd think I started a new career, went back to school, and got married. You'd think.

Perhaps I'll update more this weekend. Or perhaps I'll disappear for another year.